Seorang Suami Menemui Sebuah Diari Arwah Isterinya Dan Hampir Pitam Selepas Membaca Kandungan Diari Tersebut Kerana Rupanya Arwah Isterinya Itu Sudah Banyak Kali...
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Apa yang nak aku tuliskan ini, jadikan lah sebagai pengajaran buat semua lelaki di luar sana yang bergelar suami. Kisah ini mungkin menyayat hati bagi yang masih ada ‘hati’.
Hari ni genap 67 hari arwah isteri aku meninggl. Dan selama 67 hari ini juga aku tak henti henti menangis di atas pemergian isteri yang paling aku sayang. Bukan aku tak redha, cuma aku rasa seperti tak lepas.
Seperti ada sesuatu yg belum selesai antara kami. Dan malam ini, aku terjaga bukan kerana tangisan baby yg minta disusukan, tapi kerana seakan terdengar dengar tangisan arwah. Allahu..aku tak kuat.
Aku dah berkahwin selama lebih kurg 3 tahun setengah dengan isteri. Kami kahwin muda. Seawal usia aku 20, dan isteri 19. Di awal perkahwinan, semuanya indah belaka. Aku sgt mencintai isteri sehingga langsung tak boleh berjauhan dengan nya.
Sampai kadang kadang bila kena oustation, aku menangis rindukan dia pada waktu malam (aku bekerja di company milik family, dan dia belajar di ipts dekat dgn rumah) . Pergi ke mana saja, aku akan bawa dia bersama. Hatta keluar isi minyak atau beli top up pun dia akan merengek nak ikut. Isteri aku mmg manja org nya dan type of overly attached wife. Tapi aku tak rimas, malah aku suka.
Kami memang sangat rapat. Tambahan pula kami bercinta lepas nikah. We explore everything together. Bila dia cuti sem, aku akan bawa dia berjalan mana dia nak pergi. Isteri aku cantik orgnya. Bukan aku puji sebab dia isteri aku, tetapi sebab semua orang pun cakap perkara sama.
Bila keluar, kalau isteri aku melaram mesti ada je mata yang duk pandang pandang. Memang aku sakit hati, tapi aku pujuk diri dengan cakap takpelah, dia milik aku skrg. Lagipun aku tahu isteri aku mmg jenis sangat tidak melayan.
Bercakap dengan lelaki pun kurang. Dulu masa nak pikat hati dia pun ambil masa berbulan baru dapat kenal. Dia seorang yang sopan, dan menutup aurat dengan sempurna.
Dari awal kahwin, sehingga hampir setahun, aku rasa sangat senang dengan arwah. Kalau boleh, aku nak ada dekat dengan dia je 24jam. Bila ada kerja luar, aku akan settlekan cepat dan berkejar nak balik rumah.
Namun bila masa berlalu, tanpa aku sedar aku makin banyak berubah. Tanpa aku sedar, arwah makan hati dalam diam. Aku makin jauh dengan dia. Aku sibuk dengan kerja luar, sehingga aku rasa seronok berada di luar berbanding di rumah bersama isteri. Kadang kadang, aku cari je apa yang boleh aku settlekan di luar rumah sebab aku bosan stay dekat rumah.
Sepanjang perkahwinan, mmg aku langsung tak pernah keluar kalau bukan bersama arwah. Apa lagi nak lepak malam malam dengan kawan lama. Sampai laa suatu masa aku join macam macam club kereta dan motor.
Makin banyak alasan aku nak jumpa kawan itu dan kawan ini. Mula mula arwah diam , lama lama dia mula merungut yang dia bosan di rumah kesorangan. Tapi aku tak peduli pun. Kadang kadang dia menangis sebab kecil hati dengan aku. Tapi setiap kali dia menangis bila bergaduh atau berkecil hati, aku tak pernah pedulikan dia. Sedar sedar dia dah tertidur dengan air mata kat pipi.
Ye, aku tahu aku suami yg jahat. Aku biasakan dia dengan layanan seperti seorang puteri, kemudian aku ragut semuanya . Dari seorang suami yang cukup lembut, aku berubah menjadi seperti seekor singa bila bergaduh.
Aku akan ignore dia. Aku akan cakap kasar kasar dengan dia. Tangan aku mula pandai sentuh badan dia (itu kalau dia yg mulakan dulu). Sampai kadang kadang aku rasa mcm jodoh aku dengan dia dah takde.
Kami kerap bertengkar. Dan kebanyakannya berpunca dari sikap dia yang terlalu kuat cemburu. Tapi itu dulu, masa dia hidup. Bila dia dah pergi, baru aku sedar. Dia bukannya cemburu buta tetapi dia mahu aku jadi suami yg soleh. Dia mahukan yg terbaik untuk dunia dan akhirat aku. Allah, berdosanya aku.
Aku mengaku, aku memang susah nak jaga mata. Bila keluar berdua, dan ada perempuan cantik yg melintas depan kami mesti mata aku akan terpesona tgk kecantikan perempuan tu. Padahal isteri aku ada kat sebelah. Dan isteri aku pun sangat cantik.
Tapi aku tak pernah sedar semua tu. Bagi aku biasa lah tu lelaki mmg suka tgk perempuan cantik. Aku tak tahu yang isteri aku sedih dengan sikap aku tu. Arwah selalu tegur. Tapi aku buat tak tahu je. Sampai satu masa arwah dah tak tegur lagi, mungkin dia dah penat dengan perkara sama. Aku memang tak tahu bersyukur. Aku tak pernah rasa cukup dgn apa yg aku adaa. Sedangkan arwah dah cukup segalanya
To be honest, aku juga sukar jaga mata dari pandang perkara haram. Kadang kadang aku terlajak layan video prno. Tapi arwah tak pernah tahu. Sampai la satu hari masa dia mengandung 3 bulan, aku kantoi. Masa tu dia sedih sgt, sampai dapat migrain dan kena admit ward sebab pre eclampsia .
Aku risau sgt pasal baby masa tu. Dan it was the last time aku tgk mende keji tu. Aku dah bersumpah pada diri sendiri yg aku takkan tonton lagi umpan syaitan tu. Aku tak tahu kenapa, isteri aku halal untuk aku datangi bila bila masa tetapi pelacur di website itu juga yg aku nak tengok. Sedangkan t
Sedangkan tbuh isteri lebih cantik dari semua tu. Aku hina. Aku memang pendosa
Mulai hari tu, aku tengok isteri rajin bangun solat malam. Aku tahu, dia mengadu kepada Allah perihal aku. Aku tahu, dia bangun untuk doakan kebaikan bagi aku. Itupun semua aku tahu lepas dia dah pergi. Lepas dia dah meninggl. Lepas dah terlewat semua nya.
Seminggu lepas dia meninggl, aku kemas luggage pakaian dia. Dan aku terjumpa satu buku tebal. Aku ingatkan buku nota study dia. Rupanya dalam tu penuh catatan diari dia dari mula kahwin dengan aku sampai la hari terakhir sebelum di admit ward untuk give birth.
Aku baca semua. Air mata aku tumpas. Akurasa masa tu aku nak pergi gali semulaa kubur arwah aku nak peluk dia, aku nak cium dia, aku nak minta maaf aku nak minta ampun. Aku banyak dosa dengan dia.
“Abang, kenapa abg tengok semua tu. Sayang kan ada kalau abg berhajat? Mungkin sayang tak mengiurkan macam pelakon pelakon dlm video lcah tu. Syg minta maaf kalau syg tak pandai layan abg, sampai abg cari kepuasan melalui cara tu.
Ya allah, kau berilah hidayah pada suami aku. Abang, semoga Allah pelihara abang dari pandangan haram ye. Moga hati dan iman abg kuat ye. Takpe, syg tolong doakan abang setiap malam dan di setiap sujud syg. ”
” Cemburunya tengok abg duk pandang pandang perempuan tu tadi. Mmg la cantik. Tapi syg dah usaha habis baik nk bagi cantik jugakk bila keluar dgn abg
Sehelai demi sehelai lembaran tu aku belek. Dari sekecil kecil hingga ke sebesar besar hal dia ceritakan semua dalam buku tu. Baru skrg aku sedar , aku kurang beri perhatian pada dia selama ni. Dan ada satu luahan dalam buku tu ingatkan aku pada satu detik masa awal kehamilan arwah.
“Abang abang! Rasaa ni baby gerakk la! Aku emmm emm je. Mata asyik duk hadap hp. Bosan dgr dia merengek, aku alih tangan letak atas perut dia. Tapi mata masih lekat di skrin telefon. Dan segala kesedihan tu dia luahkan dalam buku tu. Memang aku dengar dia menangis malam tu tapi aku tak peduli pun. Mmg aku tak pernah nak pujuk kalau dia menangis. Apatah lagi nak tanya kenapa. Allahu.. kejam nya aku. Aku tak pernah peduli apa dia rasa.
Banyak yg aku baca dalam diari arwah. Patut laa dia dapat pre eclampsia (high blood prssure during pregnancy) . Padahal umur baru setahun jagung dan ini first baby. Rupanya banyak yg dia stress dan fikir pasal aku. Selama ni tanpa aku sedar, dia byk hide semua post di fb yg nengandungi unsur tak baik atau gmbr perempuan seksi. Betapa dia nak jaga dan nak bantu aku jadi baik.
Jahatnya aku. Memang aku tak pernah ada perempuan lain. Tapi aku seksa perasaan dan emosi dia. Dari apa yg aku baca, dia seolah menjadi sgt paranoid, memikirkan apa yg aku lihat di hp berkait dengan perempuan sksi, perempuan lain, atau tidak. Aku tak salahkan dia. Ini semua salah aku. Aku tak pernah fikir perasaan dia. Aku anggap semua remeh, semua kecil. Sedangkan dia menanggung derita yg besar.
Aku ingat lagi beberapa hari sebelum dia admit ward utk bersalin. Sewaktu dia nak turun beli makanan, dia sempat bergurau. Abang, rindu laa nak dengar abang ckp “awak jalan elok2 tau. Kalau ada org kacau, jerit nama abg kuat2”. Mmg dulu aku sangat lembut dan romantik dgn dia. Tapi aku xtahu mana semua tu pergi. Bukan arwah tak pernah cakap yg dia rindu aku yang dulu. Tapi aku tak pernah peduli.
Sekarang, semua dah takde. Yang tinggal hanya kenangan. Kenangan yang tak boleh mengembalikan apa apa. Dan arwah tinggalkan aku bersama zuriat kami. Nur amsya imani. Wajah iras sangat dengan arwah. Setiap kali aku pandang wajah anak syurga ini, setiap kali tu wajah arwah terbayang di mata. Allah..macam mana aku nak lalui hari hari mendatang.
Sungguh, aku sunyi. Dan sekarang baru aku faham erti sunyi yg isteri aku cakapkan selama ni bila stay dekat rumah sorang diri. Patut laa selama ni dia tak pernah tidur, dan tunggu aku balik walaupun tengah malam. Rupanya dia tak dapat tidur bila aku takde kat sblh
Aku dah hilang segalanya. Aku dah hilang isteri solehah yg sentiasa doakan kebaikan aku. aku dah hilang isteri yg selama ni jadi penguat aku. Abang rinduu nak naik motor dengan awak, sayang.. mcm awal kahwin dulu.
Pukul 1 pagi awak ajak round taman. Abang rinduu nak gurau dengan awak. Balik laa sayangg.. abg janji abg tak keluar dengan kawan dah. Abang janji abang tak hadap hp 24jam dah. Abang janji abg xpandang perempuan lain dah. Abang janji :(.
Menangis lah air mata darah pun. Arwah takkan kembali. Aku takde apa nak pesan banyak banyak. Tapi ambil laa kisah aku sebagai pengajaran. Tolong laa ambil sebagai pengajaran. Jangan sampai semua terlambat, baru kau nak menyesal. Aku menyesal. Menyesal. Menyesal.
A husband found a diary of his late wife and almost swoon after reading his diary content because apparently his late wife has many times...
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What I want to write about, make it a lesson for all the men out there who are called husbands. This story may be heartbreaking for those who still have 'heart'.
Today is only 67 days my late wife left. And for the past 67 days I haven't stopped crying over the passing of the wife that I love most. It's not that I don't accept it, it's just that I
It seems like there is something unfinished between us. And tonight, I'm awake not because of the baby's cry that asked to be breastfeed, but because it's like hearing the cry of the late Allahu.. I'm not strong.
I've been married for more than 3 years and a half to my wife. We married young. As early as I was 20, and wife 19. At the beginning of marriage, everything was beautiful. I love my wife so much that she can't be far from her.
Until sometimes when I get oustation, I cry missing him at night (I work in the family's company, and he's studying in IPTS near home). Go anywhere, I'll take her along. Hatta comes out of oil or even buy top up he will cry to follow. My wife is really spoiled by her person and type of overly attached wife. But I'm not crazy, but I like it.
We are very close. Plus we love after marriage. We explore everything together. When he's a semester holiday, I'll take him to walk where he wants to go. My wife is beautiful. I don't praise because she's my wife, but because everyone says the same.
When it comes out, if my wife dresses up there must be eyes that are looking at. I'm really hurt, but I persuade myself by saying it's okay, he's mine now. After all, I know that my wife is very kind of not entertaining.
Talking to a man is also lacking. In the past, when he was about to catch his heart, he took months to get to know him. He's a polite person, and cover his body perfectly.
From the beginning of marriage, until almost a year, I feel so happy with the late. If possible, I would like to be close to him for 24 hours. When there's an outdoor job, I'll settle fast and chase to go home.
But when time passes by, without me realizing I change more. Without me realizing, the spirit eats the heart in silence. I'm getting far away from him. I'm busy with outdoor work, until I feel good to be out there rather than home with my wife. Sometimes, I'm just looking for something that I can settle outside the house because I'm bored staying at home.
Throughout the marriage, I will never go out if not with the deceased. What else to hang out at night with old friends. Until one time I joined like a car and motor club.
More excuses for me to meet that friend and friend. At first the late was quiet, long time ago he started complaining that he was bored at home alone. But I don't care. Sometimes she cries because she's small with me. But everytime she cries when she fights or gets discouraged, I never cared about her. Realized that he fell asleep with tears on the cheek.
Yes, I know I'm a bad husband. I used to do her with service like a princess, then I snatched all of them. From a gentle husband, I turned into a lion when fighting.
I will ignore him. I'd be rude to him. My hands are starting to touch his body (that's if he started it first). Until sometimes I feel like my partner with him is gone.
We fight a lot. And most of them are caused by his attitude that is too jealous. But that was the time he lived. When he's gone, then I'll realize. He's not jealous but he wants me to be a good husband. He wants the best for my world and my afterlife. Allah, I am sinning.
I confess, I am hard to keep my eyes open. When both of you come out, and there's a beautiful woman who passes in front of us, my eyes will be amazed by the beauty of the Even though my wife is beside me. And my wife is very beautiful too.
But I never realized all that. For me it's normal that men like to look at beautiful women. I didn't know that my wife was saddened by my attitude. The late always greets. But I just don't know. Until one time the deceased hasn't told me anymore, maybe he's tired of the same thing. I don't know how to be grateful. I have never felt enough with what I have. While the deceased is enough
To be honest, I'm also hard to keep my eyes from looking at illegal things. Sometimes I watch the video too much. But the spirit never knew. Until one day when she was pregnant for 3 months, I was caught. At that time he was so sad, until he got migraine and got admitted to the ward because of pre eclampsia.
I was so worried about the baby at that time. And it was the last time I saw that cruel thing. I swear to myself that I won't watch the devil's bait anymore. I don't know why, my wife is halal for me to come to me anytime but the prostitute on the website is also what I want to see. Whereas t
While the wife is prettier than all that. I am despicable. I am indeed a sinner
From the other day, I saw the wife awake at night prayer. I know, he complains to Allah about me. I know, he woke up to pray for me for the goodness. That's all I knew after he was gone. After he left. After all it's too late.
A week ago she left, I cleaned her clothes luggage. And I found a thick book. I thought it was his study notebook. Apparently the diary is full of notes from starting to marry me until the last day before admitted to the ward to give birth.
I read all. My tears are broken. I feel that time I want to dig back the grave of my late I want to hug him, I want to kiss him, I want to apologize. I have sinned with him.
′′ Brother, why do you look at all that. Love is there if you wish? Maybe it's a pity that you don't like the actress in the video of the crazy video I'm sorry if I don't know how to treat me, until I find satisfaction through that way.
Ya Allah, please give guidance to my husband. Brother, may Allah protect you from illegal opinion. May my heart and faith be strong okay. It's okay, dear, please pray for me every night and every kneel dear. ′′ ′′
′′ It's jealous looking at brother looking at that woman just now. It's really beautiful. But unfortunately I've tried it and it's better to make it beautiful when I'm out with
One piece by one piece I turn into the sheet. From as small to small as big as he says everything in the book. Now I'm aware, I haven't paid attention to him all this time. And there's one expression in the book that reminds me of the early moment of the late pregnancy.
′′ Brother brother! I think this is a baby! Me emmm emm je. Eyes keep on facing hp. Tired of hearing him whining, I put my hand on his stomach. But the eyes are still stuck on the phone screen. And all the sadness he expressed in the book. I heard him crying that night but I don't care. I never wanted to persuade him if he cried. What else to ask why. Allahu.. I'm so cruel. I never cared what she felt.
I read a lot in the late diary. No wonder he got pre eclampsia (high blood pressure during pregnancy). Even though it's only a year of corn and this is the first baby. Apparently he's stressed out and thought about me. All this while without me realizing it, he hid all the posts on Facebook that contain bad elements or sexy women's pictures. How much he wants to take care of and help me be good.
I am evil. I never had another woman. But I torture her feelings and emotions. From what I read, she seems to be very paranoid, thinking of what I saw on her phone related to women, other women, or not. I don't blame her. This is all my fault. I never thought about her feelings. I take everything trivial, all small. While he suffered a big suffering.
I still remember a few days before he admitted to the ward to give birth. When he wanted to go down to buy food, he had time to joke around. Brother, I miss listening to my brother say ′′ you walk well. If someone disturbs me, shout out my name loudly ". I was so soft and romantic with him. But I don't know where all that went. It's not the spirit that he misses the old me. But I never cared.
Now, everything is gone. All that is left is memories. Memories that can't bring back anything. And the spirit left me with our children. Nur Amsya Imani. The face is very similar to the spirit. Every time I look at the face of this heavenly child, every time the face of the deceased is imagined in the eyes Allah.. how am I going through the coming days.
Really, I'm quiet. And now I only understand the meaning of silence that my wife has been talking about all this while staying at home alone. No wonder he hasn't slept yet, and wait for me to come back even though it's midnight. Apparently he can't sleep when I'm not beside me
I lost everything. I have lost my solehah wife who always pray for my goodness. I've lost my wife who has been my booster all this time. I miss riding a motorbike with you, dear.. like I got married early.
At 1 am you invite me to round the park. I miss joking with you. Come back dear.. I promise I won't be with my friends anymore. I promise I won't face my phone for 24 hours. I promise that I don't look at other women anymore. I promise :(.
Crying tears of blood. The spirit will never return. I don't want to order a lot. But take my story as a teaching. Please take it as a teaching. Don't let it be late, then you regret it. I'm sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry.Translated
me and my partner never do anything together 在 Sp Saypan Facebook 的最讚貼文
ถ้ามันใช่ มันใช่ไปนานแล้ว
ถ้าใช่ มันไม่ต้องพยายาม แต่ที่มันพยายาม เพราะมันไม่ใช่
ถึงประเด็นที่คนดูด่าละคร
“ทำไมทานตะวันไม่เลือกหมอเป้ง?”
หยุดความรักที่พยายามฝืน
คืนความสุขให้ทั้งเรา และเขา
ไปเจอคนที่เขาไม่ต้องฝืนจะดีกว่า
ไม่ได้รักที่เป็นคนดี แต่เลือกรักคนที่เข้ากันได้
written by Thanabatra Beboyl Chaidarnn
page owner: ตุ๊ดส์review / Pussy can talk
“…ถ้ารู้ว่าที่ผ่านมาคือ รักที่ฝืนพยายาม
ต้องไปต่อ ไม่ใช่ทนคบต่อ เพราะเสียดายที่คบมาแสนนาน…”
จริงๆ ตอนอ่านพวก comment ด่าบท หรือด่าตัวละครทานตะวันที่เลือกหมอฉลามเยอะมาก คนก็ยังเถียงกันมาจนถึงตรงนี้ ส่วนตัวที่เชียร์หมอฉลาม ไม่ใช่เพราะหมอหล่อ สดใส หรือน่ารักหรอก แต่มันมีคำตอบบางอย่างที่น่าสนใจ แล้วจริงๆ หมอเป้งก็ดีมากๆ แต่ทำไมทานตะวันไม่เลือก?
ก็เพราะทานตะวันรู้ไงว่า 15 ปีที่ผ่านมา ทานตะวันฝืนตลอด ต้องเข้าใจงานของเป้ง และตัวเองเป็นคนพยายามมาตลอด 15 ปี เป็นคนที่วิ่งตามเขาอย่างเดียว พอมันตกผลึกได้ว่า ที่ทำทั้งหมด เพราะรัก แต่มันฝืน ถึงจุดหนี่ง มันเลยมีคำตอบกับตัวเองได้ว่า มันคือความอดทนกัน
ในขณะที่ตอนหมอเป้งกลับมา หมอเป้งเองก็ฝืน มีความทนทรมานในพฤติกรรมของตัวเอง จากที่เป็นคนบ้างานมา 15 ปี ก็พยายามหยุดทุกอย่าง เลิกนิสัยเดิมๆที่เห็นคนไข้ และการรักษาชีวิตสำคัญมากๆ จนลืมแฟน พยายามกลับมาเป็นคนที่ดีพอให้ได้ แต่การกลับมาครั้งนี้ ก็คือการไม่เป็นตัวเอง
<3 รักที่ไม่ได้เป็นตัวเอง…รักที่ต้องพยายาม
รักที่ต้องอดทนกันไปต่อ เพื่อรักษามันไว้ให้เกิดปีต่อๆไป
ไม่ใช่ความสุขที่แท้จริง
การที่นางเอกเลือกหมอฉลาม หมอฉลามไม่ได้ดีกว่าหมอเป้ง ไม่ได้เจ๋งกว่า แล้วมันก็โคตรเสี่ยง เพราะจริงๆ มันไม่รู้เลยว่าข้างหน้าจะเป็นยังไง จะเลิกกันเมื่อไหร่ แต่การที่ทานตะวันยอมเสี่ยงกับคนใหม่ ความหมายคือ การเริ่มต้นใหม่ แบบที่ไม่ต้องให้ใครฝืนแล้ว
ทุกคนควรเจอคนที่ใช่ คนที่ทำให้เราได้เป็นตัวเอง
คนที่คุณรับความเป็นคุณได้ ไม่ว่าจะแคะขี้ฟัน นอนตด ไม่อาบน้ำข้ามวัน (จริงๆไม่ควรแย่มาก)
ถ้ารู้ว่าฝืน ก็แค่ปล่อยมือกันไป ให้ไปค้นหาคนที่ใช่กันต่อไป
ผมมีประสบการณ์จากคนรอบข้าง ที่คบกันมาตั้งแต่สมัยเรียน เป็น 10 ปี กลับเลิกกันไปง่ายๆ แล้วเลือกคนที่คบสั้นๆเพียงไม่กี่ปีแล้วแต่ง คำตอบคือ
“ถ้ามันใช่ มันใช่ไปนานแล้ว”
ถ้าใช่มันไม่ต้องพยายาม
แต่ที่มันพยายามเพราะมันไม่ใช่
<3 “เราต้องแยกคนดี กับคนที่ใช่ ออกจากกันให้ได้”
เป้งเป็นคนดี แต่ที่ผ่านมา 15 ปี ยังไม่ใช่ ยังไม่เข้ากัน แต่มันคือความพยายามที่ยาวนานจนผูกพันกัน เท่านั้นเอง
และเหตุผลที่ script ตอนท้าย นางเอกพูดว่า ‘หมอเป้ง’ จะเป็นคนแรกที่เธอนึกถึง จะเป็น My Ambulance ของเธอเสมอ มันก็ถูกแล้วไง ก็รักครั้งแรก รักที่ผูกพันมา 15 ปี คนที่ดีที่สุดของที่ชีวิต ที่ไม่เคยทอดทิ้งกันเลย จะให้ลืมไป ไม่นึกถึงคงไม่ได้
แต่ที่ทำได้แค่ระลึกถึงเสมอ แต่ไม่ได้เป็นคู่ชีวิต ก็เพราะเป้งเป็นคนดีเสมอมา แต่ไม่ใช่คนที่เข้ากันได้ และยังไม่ใช่คนที่ใช่
คนที่ดี อาจจะไม่ใช่คนที่ใช่ และมันบังคับไม่ได้ บังคับให้คนดีเป็นคนที่ใช่ไม่ได้
เพราะความไม่เข้ากัน มันอยู่ด้วยกันแล้วเหนื่อย
มันทำได้แค่เก็บเขาไว้ ให้เป็นความทรงจำที่ดีที่สุดในชีวิตก็พอ
ที่ครั้งหนึ่งเคยมีคนดีขนาดนี้อยู่ในชีวิตเรา แค่เขาไม่ใช่คนที่เข้ากันได้ ทำให้เราต้อง Move on
หยุดความรักที่พยายามฝืน คืนความสุขให้ทั้งเรา และเขาเจอคนที่เขาไม่ต้องฝืนจะดีกว่า
ความดี ไม่ใช่คำตอบหรอก ความเข้ากันได้ คือคำตอบ
#ตุ๊ดส์review
// ไม่มีใครเลือกอะไรผิดหรอก เราแค่อาจจะไม่ได้เป็นเขาที่ดิ้นรน และอดทนสู้มา 15 ปี เลยไม่ได้คิดแบบเขา
และการเลือกคนใหม่ ก็ไม่ได้ถูกต้องหรอก มันแค่กลายเป็นต้องยอม 'เสี่ยง' แทนที่จะต้อง 'ทนฝืน' ต่อไปให้มีปีที่ 16...แล้วนับต่อไปทั้งๆที่รู้ว่าเข้ากันไม่ได้
To the point that the audience scold the drama.
" why doesn't sunflower choose doctor pae?"
Stop the love that tries to resist
Happy returns to both us and him
It's better to meet someone who doesn't have to resist.
I don't love being a good person, but I choose to love someone who fits together.
written by @[1228486403:2048:Thanabatra Beboyl Chaidarnn]
page owner: @[332977620507759:274:ตุ๊ดส์review] / @[205184872969590:274:Pussy can talk]
"... if you know that in the past, it's the love that I keep
I have to keep going, not being patient because I feel pity that I have been with you for a long
In fact, when I read the comments, scold the script or scold sunflower character who choose doctor shark. There are many people still arguing until here. Personally, I cheer for doctor shark, not because the doctor is handsome, bright or cute, but there are some interesting answers. It's very good but why doesn't sunflower choose?
Because of sunflower. How do you know that 15 years ago, sunflower has been fighting all the time. I have to understand the work and I have been trying for 15 years. I am the one who runs after him only. When it's crystallized that I do all One point, there is an answer to myself that it is patience.
While when the doctor came back, the doctor kept suffering in his own behavior. From being crazy for 15 years, I tried to stop everything. Stop the same habit that I saw the patient and life is so important that I forgot my boyfriend tried. Come back to be a good person, but this return is not being myself.
<3 Love that I am not myself... love to try.
Love that we have to be patient. Keep going to keep it going.
Not true happiness
The way the actress chooses doctor shark doctor shark is not better than doctor pae. It's not cool. It's risky because he doesn't know what it will be in front. When to break up, but sunflower risk the new person. The meaning is to start over I need someone to fight
Everyone should meet the right person who makes us themselves.
The person you can accept you, no matter how bad hakka, sleep, fart, no shower over the day (really shouldn't be bad)
If you know that you are fighting, just let go. Keep searching for the right person.
I have experience from people around you who have been together since school for 10 years. It's easy to break up and choose someone who has been with me for a few years.
"if it's right, it's been right for a long time"
If yes, it doesn't have to try.
But the reason it's trying is because it's not.
<3 "we need to separate good people and the right people"
I am a good person, but in the past 15 years, I haven't matched yet, but it's a long effort that we are connected.
And the reason why script at the end, the actress said ' doctor pae ' will always be the first person she thinks of. It will always be your ambulance. It's right. First love. Love that I have bonded for 15 years. The best person of life that never abandon each other I want you to forget. I can't think about it.
But the reason I can only remember but I am not my partner because I am always a good person but not a compatible person and not the right person.
A good person may not be the right person and it can't force a good person to be the right person.
Because the incompatibility is tired together.
It can only keep him as the best memory in life.
There was a good person in my life once. Just that they are not a compatible person. It makes us move on.
Stop the love that tries to return happiness to both us and they meet someone who doesn't have to resist.
Goodness is not the answer. Compatibility is the answer.
#ตุ๊ดส์review
// no one chooses anything wrong. I just may not be him who has been struggling and patient. I have fought for 15 years. I didn't think like him
And Choosing a new person is not right. It just turns out to ' risk ' instead of ' endure ' to have to have the 16th year... then keep counting even though we know that we can't get along.Translated
me and my partner never do anything together 在 宮能安 Kung Facebook 的最讚貼文
《親密戲導演》
American Theatre,2018年11月號。
《演員的親密戲》
擷自內文:
「性愛場景,如同設計武打場,或是舞蹈動作一般,需要同樣細心編排的動作設計,特別是在這個 #MeToo時代。 」
「我在研究所時期也是演員,所以我有親身體驗—那種來自同事的不恰當經驗,一起跟我上台的人,或是導演完全不知道該怎麼處理這些(親密戲)場景,所以他們索性就完全不處理。」Sina說 「如果你有一個比較年長的導演,碰到親密戲他會跟你們說:你們就做吧,就試看各種可能。所以你們就開始在性愛場景中即興,這是非常不舒服的經驗,而且大多數時候非常令人受傷。」
「親密戲的指示,從來沒有在演員Emily與她的女搭檔編排動作設計遇到困難時出現(她們當時在編排一個充滿戲劇衝突的雙人愛情戲),即使Emily之前演過同性間的愛情戲,她仍然發現自己舉步維艱, 而她的導演除了不斷對著她們大吼舞臺指示「洶湧的情慾」以外,毫無建樹。兩位演員根本沒有辦法自己演完這場戲,而她們發現到了排練最後階段,她們的導演對著她們大喊「就做吧。時候到了。」
「劇場的一切都是假的,」Sina說,「那是一個由演員搬演的假故事,我們必須永遠記得這點,你不應該因此失去自我,你必須在自我跟所做事情之間取得很好的平衡。是的,你必須把自己奉獻給角色,但你也必須要在適當時候離開。」
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前言:
自己日常閱讀時發現這篇文章,其中許多觀念頗為受用,花了幾天翻譯出來,希望能給台灣帶來不同觀念交流、分享,人家對身體以及一切相關觀念,已經好前面了。
雖為英文系畢業,但仍非專業翻譯,謬誤之處歡迎指正。
歡迎轉貼,請勿用做商業用途。
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正文:
Intimate Exchanges
Sex scenes require as much careful choreography as flight or dances, especially in the #MeToo era.
《交換親密》
性愛場景,如同設計武打場,或是舞蹈動作一般,需要同樣細心編排的動作設計,特別是在這個 #MeToo時代。
Adam Noble had been teaching an advanced scene class for just one month when he faced a startling encounter with sexual assault in acting. A student came to him asking for a new scene partner, saying she thought the man she had been working with, on the final scene between Stanley and Blanche in A Streetcar Named Desire, had tried to rape her.
Adam Noble在他的進階場景分析課上遇到一件令他膽戰心驚的表演性騷擾事件,一名學生跟他要求更換場景搭檔,她說她的搭檔企圖在他們一起工作《慾望街車》最後一景Stanley跟Blanche的戲時,企圖強暴她。
Noble immediately offered to serve as a mediator for the two students, who had been rehearsing alone in the young man’s dorm room, in order to clarify what had happened. The situation was resolved as a misunderstanding, and the two were able to continue working together. But for Noble, who had staged his first theatrical flight in 1992, the incident served as a wake-up call.
Noble立即以協調者身分為兩位同學提供幫助(他們一直單獨在男同學宿舍房間單獨排練),以求能夠釐清事實真相。後來發現整起事件其實是個誤會,兩位同學也因此能夠繼續一起順利工作。但對於Noble來說—他從1992年就設計了他的人生第一場舞台打搏鬥戲—這起突發事件有如一記響鐘。
“We were sending these kids off on their own devices with no foundation for how to approach this stuff,” he recalled. The lack of resources for both students and teachers regarding the staging of intimate scenes was apparent.
「我們讓這些孩子在完全不具備如何處理理這種事的相關基礎知識時候,就放手要他們自己發展,」他這麼回憶。「因此,老師與學生雙方都缺乏排練親密戲的必須知識,這件事是顯而易見的。」
Noble developed a method called Extreme Stage Physicality to provide students with a framework to address what he called in an article for The Flight Master maginize “scenarios of intense physicality” with comfort and confidence. He began teaching ESP to high school, undergraduate, nd graduate students across the country. He found that the methodology was effective for all ages, and the number of reported incidents and problems dropped to zero.
Noble後來發展出了一套他稱之為「極端舞台形體」(ESP)的技巧,他對《The Fight Master》雜誌表⽰這個技巧提供了一組完整架構給學生使用,讓他們在「激烈的肢體情境」中可以感到安心並且擁有自信。他開始在高中、大學、研究所教導這套ESP技巧。他發現這套方法適用於所有年齡層,後來這些單位的性騷擾通報數量為零。
“For me as a director, it had to work for aggression, and it had to work for intimacy,” Noble said. “ It had to work across the board for those moments when the body steps in to fill the void, whether it’s violence or intimacy. Theres’s a point where the text and the words are no longer enough and the body steps in. There had to be a way for them to work on it safely.”
「身為導演,我認為在工作時,必須涵蓋侵略性以及親密性這些面向,」Noble說,「這些都必須要被全面地工作到的,特別是在那些時刻,當你的身體必須要介入來填補空缺的時候,會有那麼一個點,光靠文本跟台詞已經不足以支撐而你的身體必須要介入,在這時候必須要有一個安全工作的方法。」
That way would later be referred to as intimacy choreography, a term first used in 2006 by Tonia Sina, creator of the Intimacy Directors International. While studying movement pedagogy, including flowing and mime, Sina was helping to choreograph intimate scenes in student-directed plays and found what she described as “a hole” in choreography and no resources to help with her work.
那套方法,後來被「國際親密戲導演工作坊」創辦人之一Tonia Sina稱為「親密戲形體排練」。當 Sina在鑽研動作教育學時—其中包含小丑與默劇—一面幫忙在學生執導的劇目中擔任動作設計,就在這時候,她發現了在動作設計這個領域中的「空缺」,而這方面,她發現自己完全沒有任何資源可以幫上忙。
For her thesis he created a technique to help actors improve the conditions of their work as well as the results. Published in 2006, “ Intimate Encounters; Staging Intimacy and Sensuality” drew from her own experience as an actor. While attending graduate school at Virginia Commonwealth University, Sina’s personal life was disrupted due to the lack of structure provided for staging intimate sscenes. While rehearsing Picasso at the Latin Agile, she and her acting partner staged a love scene together, alone-a standard practice for such scenarios- with unnerving results.
她在她的論文創造了一套技巧,來幫助演員精進他們工作的狀態以及成果。2006年,她從自身演員經驗出發,發表了《親密接觸:表演中的親密性及其感官性》。大學就讀維吉尼亞聯邦大學時,Sina的私生活就因為沒有一套擁有完整架構的技巧來排演親密場景,而深受其苦。在排練Picasso at the Latin Agile 時,Sina跟她的表演搭擋需要排練一段愛情戲,而且是獨自排練—一個司空見慣的情況—然後最後結果卻令人不安。
“The second our lips touched it was not rehearing,” Sina recalled. “It was just kissing. We both felt it. We both knew. It ended up spiraling. We ended up leaving our parters for a month and we had a showmance. It caused a lot of mayhem in our personal lives because we couldn’t let these characters go. We didn’t have a safe way to do the intimacy, and we didn’t have a safe way of coming out of it.”
「當我們的嘴唇碰在一起時,那就不是在排練了。」Sina回憶道。「那就只是單純在接吻而已。我們都感覺到了,最後越演越烈,我們都因此而跟各自伴侶分手,在那個演出期間我們的私生活真的變得很混亂,因為我們都不肯放下我們劇中角色。我們沒有一個安全的方法來做親密戲,也沒有一個安全的方法來離開它。」
The two dated for a month, but their romantic relationship ended shortly after the show closed. And while Sina’s experience was consensual, there are many cases in which an intimacy director could have prevented non-consensual encounters and abuses of power, especially for young women in the industry.
他們兩個交往了一個月,但隨著戲告一段落感情也就馬上結束了。儘管Sina的案例是當事者雙方都心甘情願,仍然有非常多的例子不是如此,在那樣的狀況下其實親密戲導演是有大把機會可以防止這種違反自身意願的接觸,以及權力的濫用,特別是對業界年輕女性而言。
“While I was in grad school I was also an actress, so I was experiencing it firsthand- situations that had been completely inappropriate from co-workers, people who had been onstage with me, director and there’s a sex scene and they say, ‘You guys just do it. Just try something.’ So you’re improvising a sex scene with your partner. That’s extremely uncomfortable and very victimizing at times.”
「我在研究所時期也是演員,所以我有親身體驗—那種來自同事的不恰當經驗,一起跟我上台的人,或是導演完全不知道該怎麼處理這些(親密戲)場景,所以他們索性就完全不處理。」Sina說 「如果你有一個比較年長的導演,碰到親密戲他會跟你們說:你們就做吧,就試看各種可能。所以你們就開始在性愛場景中即興,這是非常不舒服的經驗,而且大多數時候非常令人受傷。」
Alcoa Rodies, co-founder of Intimacy Directors Internatial, witnessed and was a victim in such scenarios throughout her career. After almost chipping a tooth when a scene partner decided to intensify a kiss onstage, she was told, “ That’s part of the profession. Get used to it.” Knowing there were hundreds of other women who would gladly take her spot in a show if she left, Rodis thought she had to accept that kind of behavior for the rest of her career.
IDI共同創辦人Alcia Rodis在她自己生涯中,親眼見過幾個案例,並且,也曾經有過身為受害者的經驗。在她的對手演員決定在場上把吻戲變得異常激烈時,她的牙齒幾乎都要裂了,儘管如此,她還是被告知「這行就是這樣。早點習慣吧。」因為Rodis清楚知道如果她選擇離開的話,會有其他幾百位女性會搶破頭想要她的位置,她一度以為她必須要在整個職涯中接受這種狀況。
“We sort of learned that’s not the case, and we don’t have to just take it. We can actually be part of the process and work together,” Rodis said.
「我們後來知道其實並不是這樣的,我們不需要逆來順受。我們其實可以在整個工作過程中同心協力地工作。」Rodis 說。
Sina and Rodies, along with co-founder Siobhan Richardson, created the Pillars, the core protocol of IDI’s work and teaching. A codified process, the Pillars consist of Context, Commumication, Consent and Choreography. (They recently estabished a fifth pillar, Closure, to assist actors in walking away from a character after a performance.) Not having this process, Sina said, can be damaging and dangerous.
Sina跟Rodis,以及創辦夥伴Siobhan Richardson發明了「骨幹」這個IDI在工作及教學上的核心要素草案。其中包含:文本、溝通、同意以及動作(近期還加上了第五個骨幹:收尾。來幫助演員在戲結束之後順利離開他的角色。)Sina說,沒有這些幫助的話,是有可能帶來危害的。
“None of it’s real-it’s theatre,” said Sina. “It’s a fake story that is being portrayed by actors, and we have to keep remembering that. You shouldn’t be losing yourself. You need to have some semblance of yourself and some awareness of what you’re doing. Yes you can commit to the character, but you need to come out again.”
「劇場的一切都是假的,」Sina說,「那是一個由演員搬演的假故事,我們必須永遠記得這點,你不應該因此失去自我,你必須在自我跟所做事情之間取得很好的平衡。是的,你必須把自己奉獻給角色,但你也必須要在適當時候離開。」
IDI currently recommends four certified Intimacy Directors, with 16 candidates in training to become certified. Currently only established movement teachers, choreographers, and directors who have worked directly with a founder are able to apply for training. The organization also offers workshops for actors, directors who want to learn basic consent and choreography, and for stage managers and choreographers wanting to learn more about intimacy direction. In August 2018, a 10-day International Intimacy Pedagogy was held in Illinois.
IDI最近推薦了四位經過認證的親密戲導演,陸續還有其他十六位正在培訓。目前,機構只提供專業的、並且曾和創辦者共事過的動作老師、編舞以及導演可以申請接受培訓。IDI有提供工作坊給演員及導演學習「同意」與「動作」的基礎概念,另有舉辦工作坊,給有意願了解更多關於「如何給予親密戲指示」的舞臺經理與動作設計。2018年8月,他們在伊利諾州舉辦了為期10天的國際親密戲教育學工作坊。
Along with the Pillars, another crucial aspect of intimacy directing is recognizing and respecting traumas in one’s colleagues. All IDI-certified choreographers have completed state-offered metal health certification courses.
除了「骨幹」之外,另有一個至關重要的概念:辨識並且尊重同事的創傷。所有IDI的動作設計都完成了由州政府認證的心理健康課程。
“None of us are therapists, and none of us are counselors,” Rodis said. “But we know what to do if someone is having a metal health crisis, and we know what resources to give them. Because of the nature of the work we’re doing, and because some of us are so new, we’re getting further education on trauma.”
「我們都不是心理治療師,我們也都不是諮商師,」Rodis說「但是,我們知道當有人心理出現危機時該給他們什麼資源。因為就我們現在所做的工作本質上來說,我們都是新手,所以我們有必要持續在創傷這個議題上進修。」
While recognizing that theatre professionals are just that- professionals hired to tell a story- the founders also understand that that job can involve actors putting themselves through traumatic experiences night after night.
“We know what you’re doing is different than going to the office every day,” Rodis said, “If you’re playing Lady Macbeth every night, after a while it’s going to wear on you. So we also offer resources on how to close out at the end of every night.”
正因為知道劇場這個職業就是由一群受聘的專業演員來講一則故事,創辦者清楚的認識到這個工作可能需要演員讓他們自己日復一日、夜復一夜的經歷那些創傷。「我們明⽩你的工作不同於朝九晚五的上班族,」Rodis說,「如果妳每天晚上都在飾演馬克白夫人,過一陣子這個角色其實是會影響到妳本人的,正因為如此,我們也提供方法讓你在每晚演出過後把角色給關起來。」
One such resource is the ability to discuss sexuality and sexual experiences openly and without discomfort- a shift from the norm in American culture, which, as actor/director/teacher Claire Warden observed, has little problem with violence but tends to balk when it comes to sex, leaving directors feeling uncomfortable and embarrassed.
其中一個資源,就是擁有能力來討論性以及性經驗而不會感到不適。談論性這件事,不同於具有多重身份(演員、導演與老師)的Claire Warden觀察到的一個美國文化現象:談到暴力時大家都沒問題,不過一但談到性的時候大家都顯得有點畏畏縮縮的,這其實讓導演們都覺得不舒服與尷尬。
“We’ve got this really skewed view of sex and sexuality and intimacy, and an obsession with it,“ Warden Said, “ A lot of shame, judgment, power, and confusion lies around it, which has made it uncomfortable and awkward to talk about openly.” The root problem, she said, may be that “sexuality and intimacy have kind of blurred into one.”
「我們對於性與親密的相關議題有一種扭曲的觀念,同時卻又深深為其著迷」Warden說,「這同時又有許多羞愧、判斷、權力以及困惑參雜其中,因此讓它成為一個公開談論時會帶來不適與尷尬的議題。」根據她說,其實真正根深蒂固的問題是,我們把「性」與「親密」混為一談。
Intimacy direction was never mentioned when an actor we’ll call Emily(not her real name) was performing in a dramatic two-handler and struggled to choreograph a love scene with her female scene partner. Having never performed a same-sex love scene before, Emily found herself at a loss, and her director- whose only technique was to yell the stage direction “Rolling heat!” Repeatedly- was no help. The two actors were unable to stage the scene on their own and found themselves onstage at the end of rehearsal with the director yelling. “Just do it. It’s time.”
親密戲的指導,從來沒有在演員Emily與她的女搭檔編排動作設計遇到困難時出現(她們當時在編排一個充滿戲劇衝突的雙人愛情戲),即使Emily之前演過同性間的愛情戲,她仍然發現自己舉步維艱, 而她的導演除了不斷對著她們大吼舞臺指示「洶湧的情慾」以外,毫無建樹。兩位演員根本沒有辦法自己演完這場戲,而她們發現到了排練最後階段,她們的導演對著她們大喊「就做吧。時候到了。」
Emily recalled that “when it came time to do it in performances, fight director friends of mine ho came to see the how said, ‘That look incredibly uncomfortable for you both. You looked like you were in pain and it was obvious.’’’ Her friends asked her where the intimacy director was. Emily had never heard of such a director, saying, “ I wish I’d known about it at the time when all the yelling was happening.”
Emily後來說,「後來真的演出時,我有個舞台搏鬥導演朋友來看演出,到了所謂的『就做吧』片段時,他說『那看起來對妳們兩個都極其不舒服,妳們看起來超痛苦,而且非常明顯。」她的朋友繼續問她親密戲導演在哪。Emily那時從來沒有聽過有「親密戲導演」這種導演,她說「我真希望在所有的吼叫發叫的當下,我能夠知道『其實有親密戲導演』這件事。」
Emily now a director herself, said she is carful to ensure that her actors are comfortable when staging intimate scenes. “I am hyper-aware of my actors’ sensitivity and I’m constantly checking in with them: ‘Are you okay? Are you comfortable with this? Let me know if you’re not comfortable. We don’t have to do this. We can do something else.’ And my actors thank me for it. They’re not used to that.”
現在身為導演的Emily表示:「在排練親密戲時,我總是對我的演員的感受保持超級高的敏感度,我會不停的詢問他們『你還好嗎?你對這個覺得自在嗎?如果有不舒服要讓我知道。我們不一定要這麼做,我們可以有替代方案的。』我的演員總是對此心存感激,他們對這樣的工作方式其實還不是那麼習慣。」
Uncomfortable situations can present themselves with or without directors in the room. Often scene partners are encouraged to stage the scenes on their own, outside of rehearsal, a practice that can lead to feelings of fear and helplessness. Sina was kissed inappropriately- a kiss that hadn’t been choreographed or rehearsed- in front of an audience of 500 people and had to be in character as she received it.
不舒服的狀況不論導演在不在場都有可能發生。通常演員們會被鼓勵私下自己排練,其實,這麼做很容易引發恐懼與無助感。Sina曾在500位觀眾面前被不當的親吻—一個沒被事先設計或是排練過的吻 —而她在被親的同時還要想辦法讓自己「待在角色裡」。
“There are times where it’s, ‘Kiss, but don’t kiss until previews.’ It’s the worst,” Rodis said. “At best it’s a bad story, at worst they start grabbing you, ‘be in the moment.’ That’s the definition of assault.”
「有時候的情況是親,但是在試演前不會真的親,那種是最糟的。」Rodis說,「當那種狀況發生時,你能得到最好的結果是一個爛故事,最糟的結果是你開始被這件事給抓住還要『待在當下』, 這其實就是侵犯的定義。」
Along with establishing the definition of assault, IDI training also defines consent in clear, unquestionable terms that differentiate between that and permission. A director can give permission to touch another actor, but only a fellow actor can give consent.
除了建立侵犯的定義以外,IDI還以清清楚楚、不容模糊的語彙界定了「同意」與「允許」的差異。 導演可以「允許」演員去觸摸對手,但只有對手演員自己才可以真的表示「同意」。
“The conversation is always very professional and technical, so when we’re talking about parts of the body, it’s the biological name of the part of the body.” said Warden. “And we as intimacy directors never ask anything about and never inquire about the actors’, directors’ or anyone else’s personal sexual life, history, story, proclivities, etc.”
「所有的討論都是非常專業的,當我們必須要談論身體的部位時,我們都會用生物學名稱。」 Warden說,「身為親密戲導演,我們絕對不會去問任何演員、導演或是任何人的個人性愛生活、歷史、故事或是性傾向...等等任何事情。」
The language doesn’t change when the workshops contain students, Warden said, though she may move more slowly.
語彙的使用並不會因為工作坊有學生而改變,Warden說,只是她會教的更慢而已。
“A lot of what we’re saying for adults is still, ‘That is not real. None of this is real.’’’ said Sina. “In rehearsal, we don’t add acting to it until the very last minute, We choreograph it like we do anything else. Just do the moves so everyone knows what’s happening. Then they can add the emotion to it when the actors are ready and they feel they know the choreography well enough. And if you can get that to happen for minors, it separates the sexuality from the choreography and allows them to treat it like it is: choreography.”
「即便我們跟成年人都一直在強調『這都不是真的,這一切都是假的。』」Sina說。「排練的時候,我們不到最後一分鐘是不會加上『表演』的。在最後關頭之前。我們都像是處理其他素材一樣,做形體動作讓大家都知道會發生什麼事。一直到演員們都準備好了,對動作都夠熟悉時,他們才會真的帶入感情去演出。如果你能夠讓這些未成年先開始這麼做,慢慢的所有人就能夠把性跟動作設計分開來來看,然後以正確的眼光看它:動作設計。」
The inability to treat intimate scenes as simply choreography is a problem Sina has observed at numerous drama competitions, where students without sexual experience or knowledge, let alone the ability to separate themselves from the characters they were playing, have performed sex scenes. These situations can be traumatizing for people without the knowledge or resources to handle it.
Sina在無數個戲劇比賽上觀察到一個問題,學生們往無法把親密場景當成動作設計一樣來處理,這群學生們沒有性經驗或是相關知識,想當然就無法在性愛戲中把自己跟扮演的人物切割開來看待。這種狀況是非常有可能讓人受創的,特別是對那些沒有相關知識,或是資源來處理這種狀況的人。
“If they’re not being led through it properly, it can be very, very dangerous,” she said. “It’s illegal in our country to do anything sexual with a minor or have two minors do something sexual in front of an adult. It’s very thin line between choreography and a crime when you’re dealing with minors.”
「如果他們沒有被好好引導的話,那真的非常非常的危險。」她說,「根據我們國家的法律,讓一個或多個未成年人在成年人面前做出帶有性愛意味的事情是違法的。所以面對未成年時,在『動作設計』跟『犯罪』之間其實只有一條非常模糊的線。」
Demand for IDI services and training has spiked in the past year, since the #MeToo movement has exposed abuse in the entertainment field, including theatre, and the issues of consent and empowerment in the workplace (not to mention outside of it) have become central.
自從去年#MeToo運動開始後,對IDI這個機構的服務與訓練來說,他們面臨了重要挑戰。在娛樂產業(包含劇場)的職場上(更別提職場外也是),現在,關於「同意」與「權力」的議題都變得重要無比了。
“At the moment there’s so much need and demand and only so many of us to go around,” Warden said. “I cannot be in every single room and play out there, but what I can do is empower actors or directors or even stag managers to go into a room and say, ‘I would like to offer a way of talking about this.”
「目前來看,親密戲導演的需求與實際從業人數是不成正比的,」Warden說。「很顯然的,我不可能出現在每一個房間裡指導,但我可以做的是賦予演員、導演甚是舞臺經理權力,讓他們能夠在每個房間替自己發聲『我想要提供另外一種工作方式』。」
Also encouraging to Warden is the increased awareness among young students.
對Warden來說,令他欣慰的是年輕一代學生中對這件事情有意識的人數越來越多了。
“My hope, my intentions and my dream is that the next generation of actors, writers, and directors come out with a very different understating of respect and consent with their bodies and each others’ bodies,” Warden said. “And that leads us into an even more free and safe way to creat deep, authentic, risky stories.”
「我的願望、我的本意、以及我的夢想都是下個世代的演員、作家、以及導演都能夠對他們自己以及他人的身體,有一種非常不同於現在的理解、尊重、權利,」Warden說,「這可以讓我們以更自由,同時也更加安全的方式來創造出具深度、真誠、精彩的故事。」
Carey Purcell, New York city-based reporter