關於 it's not working out relationship ，我們在網路上蒐集到這些相關的討論、資訊與評價

【7 Lessons from 7 early-stage founders】

And that's a wrap! Startups are hard, very hard. There's a million different reasons why a founder will fail. Although every founder will never walk the same path as an another, it's my hope that you can at least distill some form of practical insight or inspiration from the experiences of the founders highlighted. Here's a quick snapshot of the lessons covered:

#1 - Establish a working relationship with your co-founder before tying the knot ft. Alan Chan of Omnichat (AW#16)
#2 - Don't in love with your product ft. Kevin Wong of Origami Labs (AW#15)
#3 - Talk to your investors ft. Hai Ho of Triip (AW#18)
#4 - Hire slow, fire fast ft. Hai Nguyen of Canavi (AW#20)
#5 - Don't compete for the sake of compete ft. Chris Xue of Novelship (AW#16)
#6 - Optimize on leveraging strengths instead of improving weaknesses ft. Chelsea Sim of Botbot.AI (AW#18)
#7 - Zoom in, zoom out ft. Jackson Aw ft. Mighty Jaxx (AW#20)

Beyond shared tactics or playbooks, it is also my hope that other founders' experiences resonate with your own, and let you understand that you are not alone.

At AppWorks, we now have over 1,300 founders in our community, filled with like-minded peers, mentors, and even business partners--perhaps the strongest founder community of its kind in GSEA. Applications for AW#22 will be closing next Monday, January 4. If you're a founder targeting AI/IoT, blockchain/DeFI, or SEA, do remember to apply.

It's been a pleasure serving you readers. If you enjoyed the content in any way, please do show your support by following our page and engaging with our posts.

It's now my pleasure to pass on the reins to my colleague Jack An, who will serve as your editor for the month of January.

Hope you all have a wonderful holiday and happy new year!

Cheers,
Jun

Interview with A Founder: Conor McLaughlin (Co-founder of 99.co)

By David Wu (AppWorks Associate)

Conor McLaughlin was previously the Co-founder and CTO of 99.co, the real estate marketplace in Singapore and Indonesia. He spent six and a half years at the startup, whose backers include Sequoia Capital, 500 Startups, and Facebook co-founder Eduardo Saverin, helping to grow it into a $100 million company. As a member of AppWorks Accelerator #21, he is currently working on his next big project, a yet-to-be-named language learning startup.

【What advice do you have for first-time founders?】

First, you need to decide: do I want to run a sprint or a marathon? For a sprint, you may be open to acquisition from the beginning, delay non-startup aspects of your life, give yourself two years where you drop everything to test an idea, choose to raise more money earlier on and thus be more diluted, or do anything else that implies a shorter time horizon. Typically 1-5 years - this can lead to a major boon in a short period of time if executed well. If you decide you are in the sprinting business, you will most likely be pushed toward binary outcomes because of how many investors and employees you have on your cap table. As a first-time founder, you need to be clear with yourself on what you are willing to put on the line. As Reid Hoffman says, it’s like jumping off a cliff and building a plane on the way down… hopefully you build a plane in time.

If you are running a marathon, you are deciding that your competitive advantage is consistency over intensity. You are in this for 10, 15 years. With this time horizon, you will realize you need ways to metabolize stress and maintain emotional, spiritual, and mental health. You need to maintain relationships with friends, family, and romantic partners. When you are looking at this 10 year period, you realize the people around you can only put up with so much. Unfortunately, while work is something people can generally bounce back from, there are many things in life where you cannot - an example is your relationship with your partner. If you’re going to run a marathon, you need to be clear with yourself about what time you have for other aspects of your life and what time you have for your company. Eventually you need to learn what the right speed is where you can run as long as possible. It’s amazing how often it is that those people that keep going, assuming you have chosen the right problem to solve, eventually find daylight. Part of that is just lasting long enough.

Second, you need to revisit and continually ask yourself: should I still be running a sprint or a marathon? Circumstances change. Maybe you sprinted for the first two years to secure interesting results and funding; now it's time to transition to a marathon and clean up the life debt a bit. Or inversely, maybe you're finally leaving the trough of sorrow and it's time to sprint for a bit. Most founders will be in a long distance race with periodic sprinting. From my observation, founders most often stop because of two reasons: They either A) run out of money or B) run out of energy. There’s plenty of advice out there for scenario A (hint: don’t). But in my experience, scenario B is far more pernicious and dangerous to would-be successful founders. If you are in a marathon but fail to pace yourself and run it like one long sprint, you are unlikely to make it to the end.

Much founder advice speaks to this: Don’t let your startup make you fat. Exercise 5-10% of the time. Pick up a hobby outside of your startup. Go home for holidays. All of it leads back to one thing: You need to take care of yourself. Because injury will be far worse for your progress than being a little slower. “Slow is smooth, smooth is fast”, as the US Navy Seals say. This is surprisingly difficult advice for intrinsically motivated founders to follow, because in the event of failure, it makes them vulnerable to the thought, “Well, you didn’t work hard enough.” But for those that already have the hustle, your job is to avoid the moment of epiphany where you look in the mirror and think, “This isn’t worth it.”

All founders will have to sacrifice some things. The point is to not sacrifice everything. It will make you more resilient. Not less. It will give you the space to see situations more objectively and make better decisions. And most importantly, it will let you love what you do because it will remind you that the work isn’t just in service of yourself, it’s in the service of others. I do not think you can judge hard work over a day, or even a year, but I do think you can judge hard work over 5-10 years. Hard work is not just about the next 1-2 months. There will be times when you need to run as fast as possible, but if that is happening all the time you are probably not being smart about the situation. So don’t hurt yourself, be consistent, keep disciplined, and keep going.

Lastly, focus on your metaskills. Public speaking, reading, writing - skills applied in every aspect of your life. Generally what they reflect is learning how to think better. As a founder you need to think about - how can I think more clearly, be more creative, rigorous, analytical? As Warren Buffett and others have said: I have never seen a successful person that did not read as often as they could. Actual books and long form scare a lot of people. That’s your competitive advantage. Read blog posts from smart people, follow smart people on Twitter, listen to podcasts. Always be focused on how you can develop yourself to think better. Fostering the habit of improving your thinking will foster discipline in yourself. And discipline will let you turn that rigorous thinking into action.

【I imagine running the “race” has been especially tough this year. How have you gotten through 2020?】

I have leaned on routine and community. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to foster discipline in myself. I make my bed every morning, meditate every morning, make sure that I go to the gym 3-4 times a week. There’s so much uncertainty in both the world and the entrepreneurial space. Keeping certain things consistent gives me a spine to my life that I can fall back on. If I’m not feeling well, my discipline takes over and I’ll go to the gym. That helps me relieve stress - falling back to routine and having some mainstays of consistency and structure.

And community - it’s been the big mental health zeitgeist of this year. Everyone is recognizing that without the people around us, our mental health diminishes. Joining AppWorks was very intentional so I could surround myself with like-minded people who could question me, hold me accountable, and inspire me. And also just forming personal connections where I felt that I was still taking care of my mental health by connecting with others. Being a founder is an incredibly lonely journey. In the early days, there’s not a lot of people around. Later, when you do hire lots of people, you need to be the boss, the leader - for certain things, you can’t tell the employees everything, and even if you do, there will always be a bit of distance. You need people to relate to - people want to be seen for who they are, and appreciated for what they give. When you are a founder, sometimes it’s hard to feel that you are seen. So I intentionally put myself in situations where I can be inspired, be held accountable, and more importantly connect with others, and feel that I’m not alone. And that me and my co-founders are part of a communal journey with those around us.

【When you talk about how to run the race, I get the sense that you’re drawing from previous experiences and, perhaps, mistakes. What are the mistakes you’ve made in your founder journey and the takeaways?】

I think you could take a calendar, point to a random week, and we could list out all the mistakes from that week (laughs). I do subscribe to Steve Jobs’ philosophy: mistakes will happen, but mistakes happening means we are making decisions. Not making decisions is perhaps the biggest mistake. It’s often the reason for frustration, loss of speed, loss of momentum - so many of the issues you encounter in startups. Not making enough mistakes is probably the #1 mistake that I’ve made.

Second, going back to my advice to first-time founders, is not understanding what game I’m playing. Not understanding that all the money in the world is not going to be worth it if your spouse or partner decides to leave you because you have relegated them to a second-class citizen in your life. I think I forgot that at points. There is more to life than just the company.

Third, be careful about who you choose to work with. At minimum, if you’re doing a standard 8-9 hours at the office five times a week, that’s a lot of time with those people. You want to like the people that you work with - you want to know they’re high integrity, you want to respect their values, and you want to have common values. Choosing the right people that give you energy rather than take it away just makes running the marathon so much easier.

【We welcome all AI, Blockchain, or Southeast Asia founders to join AppWorks Accelerator: https://bit.ly/3r4lLR8 】

Courtesy of 56 years of constant practice. I'm getting better and better at maintaining a healthy relationship with myself. Another year older, another year wiser and I keep advancing in the #SelfLove department. Happy 56 to me ! ( It's still Dec 9 here in the States, guess I'm gonna celebrate again tmrw, off to bed now, nite nite ! )
Thank you all for your continuous love and support for letting me be me !!

The biggest gift you can offer me is to commit to advocating for Self-care and Self-advocacy.

#SelfCare - a journey that has no end. It's a conscious act that one takes to promote their own physical, mental and emotional health. ( #Exercise improves your mood and gives you an improved sense of well-being that can help prevent and treat mental illnesses like depression ). I love staying in shape because it makes me feel good and somewhat Superior, lol...

#SelfAdvocacy - the ability to speak up for yourself and the things that are important to you. Don't be afraid to ask for what you need and want and tell people about your thoughts and feelings. Not only you know your rights and responsibilities, you speak up for your rights, and you make choices and decisions that affect your life.

Someone asked me what's the biggest challenge during the process of reinventing myself. #SelfDoubt - there'll always be people that are unsupportive of your goals. Naysayers or critical people who actively say things to discourage you. There are also those who think you're stupid for missing out on opportunities. Truth is, in order to continue to be the advocate for natural beauty routine, health and wellbeing, I did turn down multiple commercial skincare product endorsement jobs, simply because they contradicted my beliefs. Ok, I'm stupid 🤪

My Story

People often ask me how on earth could a 56 yrs old woman look so young? What product do you use?

My answer has always been the same since I was 28. Self-care, healthy lifestyle and I use my own recipe to create my own essential oil products.

It all began in 1992, my then boyfriend's mother, Karen, who led a very organic lifestyle, introduced me to the aromatherapy world. I went from reading a book about aromatherapy to seriously studying it, and then working on creating my own recipes. Creating my own perfect essential oil blend took me a bit of trial and error but it’s a task that was a lot of fun. And of course, the biggest satisfaction came from seeing how my skin transformed over time.

It’s been a long time dream to have my own natural product line. However, in order to prove that my products work, I would need time to prove it. I knew that if I could let myself grow old without aging much, that would be the most solid proof that speaks louder than anything else. I was determined to show the world that leading a healthy lifestyle and using only organic products can truly slow down aging. We can all look amazing and age beautifully and gracefully without any help from cosmetic surgeries or regular visits to your dermatologists or esties.

Good things take time, after countless tests on real humans, a little improvement at a time, slowly refining all my recipes. Here I am, 28 years later...I'm ready to present you with my homemade products. The first in line is "For your eyes only", 100% natural without any preservatives, suitable for all skin types, organically and carefully crafted, and prepared by me, just me, with my own two hands, with love!!

There’s a saying that goes “ If you need to convince anyone else, be sure you’re convinced… “. Yes, I am, very much so…

For those who believe in me, I've prepared a small batch of my babies, all signed and numbered, each in their own little luggage just for you. Guess what? They've already arrived Hong Kong. They're only available through one channel, one person actually, my darling hairdresser, Gary.
Please WhatsApp Gary only if you're interested in my product. +852 98850960

" For your eyes only " is an overnight treatment that helps visibly smooth the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, firm the look of skin and actively hydrates while you sleep. It's lightweight and so gentle that it melts right on your skin as soon as you apply. It's a 12 weeks' supply if you use it nightly. But if you're desperate like some of my clients, and you wanna see improvement sooner, the bottle will still last you a good 6 weeks 😉

#noFilter #noBeautyApp

【無聲的嘆息 The Silent Sigh】I wrote this song about 18 months ago, 4 months after my breakup, never had the chance to post it because I was practicing my singing part, never nailed it so bailed it.
For those of you who don't know me well, including my close ones. I have been through 7 relationships, which means I fell in love 7 times. Every time I go through a breakup I repost this "People come and go, most of them just walk by. Life moves on. But some day I wish just one will stop by. Then, life goes on."

I don't stop. I don't stop working, I don't stop learning, I don't stop loving. I will always love hard and always harder. Love myself, love my family, friends. Love everyone, love those whom do not feel, love those who temp me to fall the most. For love has no limit, and knows no boundaries.

I am who I am.

Thank you for everyone who was a part of this relationship, may grace fall upon you like it has to me.

【無聲的嘆息 The Silent Sigh】Lyrics
you said you love me,
You said you care,
Seeing your text makes me feel you are near.
就像你的呼吸 輕踩踏旋律 此時此刻
溫柔的在我心裡 烙印下你的每刻
Happy moments is all I remember.
I mean forever, Almost got there.

Time flies, and there goes two years.
Told me to move to Paris,
I said I was scared.
I have no money
I'm not sure
But you said we can share.
No more fear
而我信了
還有彼此陪著

(C)
When the sky is blue
When the street reflects the moon
It is so beautiful
卻少了些什麼

When the sky is blue
When the street reflects the moon
It is so beautiful
還有什麼好在乎
I pray that love would come true.

-V2-
June 23rd,
We said goodbye at the airport,
you left with tears.
Hoping we would meet again in a different air.
I said don't worry, I'll be there.
我信守諾言來到巴黎
獨自一人遭受眾人質疑
我從不懷疑自己
雖然預想到了
但一切向我衝來時
我還是怕了
You are no longer there
Disappeared
And I can't find you anywhere
那並不是你的錯
但我還抱著希望祈求過
I'm stressed out, I'm pulling out my hair.
Never thought that would be the last time we felt for each other.
Please God, tell me Why life is so unfair,
Maybe I was just the missing puzzle of why you fear.

-RnB-
It's been a while,
You know?
I still miss you
I miss your ironic smile
I miss the way you look at me acorss the aisle
In your eyes 愛存在

You know?
I still think of you,
I don't want to but I just do,
I think of you when I'm alone,
when I'm walking to school,
before I close my eyes to snooze.

You know?
沒有你的巴黎
少了點浪漫氣息
那些一起的憧憬
暫時停留在心底
I never thought I would lose.
Lose my sleep, my mood
But never you...


請關注👉https://youtu.be/MOzeapwmDrk

TIMESTAMPS BELOW (for people repeating this!)

NOTE: Please absolutely watch this entire video until the very end. I promise you it's worth the time and discussion. This is a long and complicated story with multiple perspectives on it, so please give me the time to explain them better. I'd also love to hear your thoughts but please do so AFTER the video has concluded, so we don't have to circle back and forth about the facts or things that have already been said.

This video is not meant to defame any of the brands, platforms, companies or individuals involved. I have obscured all identifiers, so please do NOT go on a witch hunt or harass anyone. I am just sharing my side of the story and pointing out several points and behaviours that I experience in my industry. So as juicy and dramatic as this may be to some of you, I hope you guys can respect my wishes and understand where I’m coming from. Thank you and enjoy!

Timestamps:
0:00 Hi guys
1:13 Disclaimer
1:57 First post (A)
17:35 My stunning analogy
19:43 TLDR of first post
20:28 Second post (B)
20:42 Point 1
25:07 Point 2
26:16 Point 3
31:54 Plot twist
38:52 Invisible common thread between the 2 posts
40:05 Why influencers, freelancers & creatives need to be paid for their work
44:59 My feelings towards these posts
47:36 To all influencers and PR executives
49:07 My feelings towards the platform

Btw I didn't add this in but I feel like this should be known - regarding post A, I have worked on unpaid projects for the same brand around 3 times prior to this campaign. While I've shown good faith by working on these unpaid projects (as I value the working relationship and enjoy the products), if they weren't paying me for the 4th time we've worked together, I sincerely doubt they would the next. Perhaps this history better contextualises the nature of our working relationship.

⚡️NEW VIDS EVERY WEEK, MAYBE WED AND DEFO THE WEEKEND ⚡️

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(go mar-go)
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» WORK EMAIL ?
✎ wordweed@gmail.com

Captions by yallistg
This video is sponsored by my work ethic and passion for my job lmao

Xandria Ooi is a Happiness Advocate. She creates daily videos to inspire and motivate people to practice a happy and positive mindset with simple, easy-to-understand concepts and reminders. Subscribe to her channel here: https://www.youtube.com/user/xandriaooi
HER Network is NOT SPONSORED. It's an online network by Joanna Soh comprised of strong, passionate and like-minded women, driven by the same vision of wanting to support other women across the world to be the best version of themselves from inside and out.
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________

When we fall in love with someone, it’s because we have things in common. So naturally, our mind’s hooked on to the idea that we’re similar. But, whilst we may have similarities with our partner, we’re extremely different people.

No matter how alike we are on the surface, no matter how much we love each other, it’s extremely important to have the mindset that this person is an individual who comes from a completely different background, upbringing, mindset or even culture.

Because expectations is the cause of most problems in a relationship, and the expectation that we are the same causes disappointment and frustration and resentment when our partner doesn’t get us; but the acknowledgement that we very different people who love each other leads us down the path of patience and seeking to understand even when there’s a disagreement.

The work of any relationship lies in the ability to rise above things that trigger us, that sets us off. It requires more mental practice than simply good intentions, because we can have all the good intentions in the world when we’re in a good mood and things are going well, but the moment we’re frustrated or angry, life-long habits are triggered and we react negatively despite our good intentions.

When we’re in a relationship, we may be in a team, but we’re two very different people on the same team. Whether or not we’re able to adjust to the differences depends on our own mental and emotional capabilities. So working at our relationships means constantly working on ourselves.

Love is amazing, but love isn’t enough in a relationship, because it takes empathy, understanding and a lack of expectations to still be kind and to still be loving even when we’re angry. That’s the work of a relationship, and it’s the kind of work that will pay off both for our own self-development and the quality of our relationship, where we’ll be able to be happy, always.

Outfit by Love Bonito: https://www.lovebonito.com